Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
