In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
