it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
