We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
