were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
