he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Alive.
So much puke
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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