found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
