Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
