She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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