like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
