You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
