we're blogging at a bar
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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