so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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