weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
