And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
