The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize