One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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