I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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