Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
