You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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