Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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