what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
