Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
