Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
