is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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