Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
