Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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