dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
