You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
