Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
