just tell him i said nine months
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vagina is officially offended.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
