If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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