Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
