Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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