The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
