Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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