Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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