Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
