just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
