Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
