There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
