I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
