well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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