whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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