it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
