Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
