Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
