i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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