What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
