I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
