every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You're like the curious george of whores
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
