Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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