i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So apparently I’m into choking now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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