The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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