we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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