Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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